On Thursday, January 24, 2008 we (Larry and Tobey) were spending the afternoon and early evening with Mom at Heartland.  She was in such good spirits, laughed a little, complained a little, wouldn’t tell us when she was hurting even though we could tell that her shoulder was causing her great pain (still heart related), ate some food, drank a little chicken broth and talked for several hours. 

Mom has such a sharp mind, a great spirit and a weakened body.  Mom didn’t want to sleep while we were there from 12:30 p.m. to 7 p.m.  She dozed off for about ½ hr and then apologized for it.As we were kissing her goodbye, I told her we would return in two days.  Without batting an eye, Mom said, “just like a bad penny.”  We had a good laugh together.

On Saturday, January 26^th, Dawn, Larry and I went to Mom’s apartment at PrimRose and began the tedious task of clearing out her apartment.  It  was strenuous and sad to say the least.  When we broke up her home and sold it (because she was not able to stay alone anymore and she wanted a small apartment in an assisted living place), we knew that she was going to another place to live.  Today we knew that this time she wasn’t coming back to her apartment or to our homes.  Both of us live in mobile homes and have health issues, to take Mom, who needs skilled nursing, wouldn’t be in the  best interest of her or us. 

Throughout the afternoon, she talked about family, hers and dad’s, from the older times, explaining which cousins go with which family, etc.

Sometime late Saturday afternoon, Mom turned to Larry and told him that it sure was awful getting old, not being able to get out of bed and being in such pain.  Larry said that we all will be her age someday.  Mom told him that no one should have to suffer like she was doing.  She made the statement that she hoped she was going home to Jesus for she had not been able to read her Bible lately. Larry replied that Jesus understood.  He knew what was going on with her body and He understood.  He shared that we all knew she had accepted Jesus Christ as her Personal Lord and Savior and that Jesus was waiting on her to come home.  He told Mom that Dad was standing beside Jesus waiting on her.  Her reply, “well, I bet he tells me what took you so long.”  We had to laugh at her humor for she was grinning ear to ear.As we were kissing her goodbye, she reached out her hand and held ours.  As Larry and I stood at the bottom of the bed, she looked at us with such love in her eyes and said, “I love you both very much.Respectfully submitted,

Tobey Anne Crafthttp://www.tobeyscandles.com

The love of a mother helps us to grow.   A love of a mother for her child is fantastic.  I am a mother of 4 children, a mother in law to 4 children and a grandmother of 8.   When we were first married, I thought I couldn’t love someone as much as I loved my husband.  A few months of marriage and I thought perhaps I was pregnant.  Unfortunately that pregnancy didn’t last very long.  About a year later I realized I was pregnant again. 

When our daughter, Tina, was born, I was so enthralled at her tiny fingers and toes, that this bundle of joy came from me and that my love knew no bounds.  It just expanded.

As each of our children came along, Tod, Lisa and Lee, my loved kept expanding. 

As my mother in law, Flavilla, lies in her bed at Heartland waiting to go home, I know that the feelings I had when each of my children were born were similar to what she experienced for each of her children’s births.

She is one fantastic mother in law.  Yes, at times she interfered with some advice that I didn’t appreciate.  Yes, at times I ruffled her feathers too.  A strong bond grew between both of us.  She has been my mother in law for over 46 years and simply put, I love her.

It will be hard this weekend as her daughter (Dawn)  and my husband (Larry) begin the tearing down of their mother’s apartment.  Taking apart her home, having a garage sale and selling her home was hard but we knew that Mom had a good place to live in her apartment at the assisted living home.  Tomorrow will be different.  As each item is taken from that apartment, we are saying good bye to her coming home once again.

Dawn is keeping her mother’s clothes just in case she can get well enough to come home.  With Mom’s kidneys at 13% function, her heart at 30% function, the swelling of her arms so bad that they leak fluid, fluid around her heart and lungs, there isn’t much time left

My one goal is to make Mom’s last days as happy as they can be, whether that means we sit in her room helping her to drink a small amount of fluid, cleaning her dentures (which I hate but do anyways because of my love for her), reading to her, listening to her labored breathing, talking with the nurses, sharing our family stories with her, and in general, making each moment easier for her.

 Sometimes we feel that she knows that she is dying; at other times, she acts like she will be getting better.  Mom is strong willed, very sharp mentally, a great spirit (for she trusts and believes in Jesus Christ) but her body is weak.

 Mom, my salute to you is thank you for each day of your life that you have shared your beliefs, love, compassion, understanding, gentleness, kindness and attention to each of us.  You are always in our thoughts.

We love you.

Tobey Anne Craft

http://www.tobeyscandles.com

Today was a blessing.  My hubby and I had to go to Mom’s assisted living home and talk with the head nurse regarding the return of her medication, what was expected of us as she passed, did we need to pay for the next month, etc. 

We were asked what about Martha, her best friend, would we want to break the news to her about Mom.  Martha was eating lunch and we did not want to intrude on her lunch time.  We did share that it would mean so much to Mom if Martha could visit her today.

The head nurse left us and went immediately to talk with Martha.  We didn’t tell Mom that she might come out for we were not sure if someone could bring her.  About 2 p.m. down the hall came this sprightly 91 year old woman walking at this fast pace with her 3 legged cane holding onto her daughter’s arm.  She didn’t stop until she reached us.

What a joy to see Martha.  Martha waited until Mom was back in bed and then she entered the room.

The joy that flooded Mom’s face told it all.  We left the girls to do their girl talk; after 45 minutes we went back and they were still yakking so we gave them another 15 minutes. 

When Martha walked out the room, she grabbed my hand and literally pushed me into the hall.  Since Martha is 95% blind, I thought she thought I was her daughter but Martha may be blind but she is smart.  She wanted to tell me that she would come back if Mom was still around on Monday if that was okay. 

Mom slept a peaceful sleep this afternoon.  By evening she was back in pain.

Oh the joy of a friend!

Good morning.  My prayer request is for my mother in law (94) who is in the hospital dying.  Her kidneys are 13%, her heart is 30%, fluid building throughout her body, has shoulder pain indicating heart (heart attack about 12 days ago), pneumonia and got MRSA in the hospital.

Sounds like a lost cause, doesn’t it?  Mom is a woman of faith.  She has spent her entire life praying for her family, her church and for others.

She wants to go home to Jesus.  I told her it was okay.

However, I don’t believe it is the right time; only God’s timing will do.  Even though my sister in law and my hubby would like to see the suffering end for their mother (and so would I), she still clings to life with a sharp mind, a willing spirit and a weakened body.

Please pray for our Heavenly Father to heal her of her pain.  She has to exercise some while in the skilled nursing or Medicare won’t pay for her to be there and we have no other place to take her.  Each day those special nurses have her move her arms across her chest, sit on the edge of the bed and get into a wheelchair for about 10 minutes.  This is considered exercise.  She is in constant pain.  Her kidneys ache so much.

God still good.  He is still willing to heal us even when all seems lost.

Give up on a strong 94 year old woman because of the illness and her age?  Never.  God has not given up on her.  She still has much to teach us until she draws her last breath.

So please join me in prayer and support for this wonderful mother in law of mine who is still teaching her children, daughter in law, grandchildren and others to live life to the fullest until she draws her last breath.

Celebrate the older people in your life.  They do have much wisdom, love, compassion and teaching us to have more faith through their daily lives for they trust in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.  What a blessing!

Tobey Craft

I want to apologize to all of you for not getting back for the past 5 weeks.  My mother in law, Flavilla Craft, has become extremely ill.  She became ill a week or so before Christmas with pneumonia; got MRSA at the hospital; didn’t like the hospital food and refused to eat. After she got better she went to a step down program at Heartland in Marion, OH.

 Mom had a heart attack a week later and has been back in the hospital for over 10 days.  Marion, OH is about 1 hr and 15 minutes from our home.  We have traveled back and forth for over 20 days.

 Mom is slowly dying.  Her kidneys are 13% and her heart is about 30%; filling up with fluid; not hungry because her mouth feels like it has cotton in it and the food sticks in her throat, etc.

We could use all of your prayers at this time.  Even though Mom is 94 years young, only God will decide when to take Mom home with Him.  How do I know for sure she is going home to God?  She accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Saviour.

 Thanks for your prayers and listening.

 Tobey Anne Craft

http://www.tobeyscandles.com

A Yahrtzeit Candle is lit on the Hebrew anniversary of a loved one’s death.

In Judiasm, the candle is traditionally lit on Friday evening at the start of the weekly Sabbath celebration and Saturday night during the Havdalah ritual, which ends the Sabbath.The Jewish holiday of Hanukkah, also known as the Festival of Lights, is celebrated by lighting a candle in a special candelabrum (called Chanukkiyah) each night during the eight-day holiday to commemorate the dedication of the altar in the Temple in Jerusalem.The candle was also used in remembering a deceased loved one, especially on their Yahrtzeit, the anniversary of their death according to the Hebrew calendar, when a 24-hour candle is lit.

Similarly, on Yom HaShoah, a day of remembrance for all those who perished in the Holocaust, a candle is lit to honor the victims.

 Permission granted by the National Candle Association for reprint purposes.   Tobey Craft from http://tobeyscandles.com.

 On the fourth day of December, one can start burning the candles for the Advent.  Lighting one candle for tha day, adding another candle for the next day and so on until the whole Advent Candlabra is lit.  This makes a beautiful sight.

With the fairly consistent and measurable burning of a candle, a common use was to tell the time. The candle designed for this purpose might have time measurements, usually in hours, marked along the wax.

The Sung Dynasty in China (960–1279) used candle-clocks. By the 18th century, candle-clocks were being made with weights set into the sides of the candle. As the candle melted, the weights fell off and made a noise as they fell into a bowl.

             A form of candle-clock was used in coal-mining until the 20th century.

In the days leading to Christmas some people burn a candle a set amount to represent each day, as marked on the candle. The type of candle used in this way is called the Advent candle, although this term is also used to refer to a candle that decorates an Advent wreath.

In our family we use the Advent Calendar.  There are 25 small boxes, or doors, to be opened.  The first day of December one of our children get to open that door.  Inside is a small piece of chocolate.  As each day passes and more doors are opened on the Advent Calendar, various parts of a puzzle are beginning to show.  When all the doors are opened, the puzzle is finished.  There is a beautiful picture of Christ, the reason we celebrate Christmas.

The above information was written with permission from the National Candle Association.

Tobey Craft from http://tobeyscandles.com.

How was the candle first created?  The candle was developed independently in many countries.

In Rome around the first century, candles were made out of tallow and the pith of rushes. The Egyptians and Cretans made the candle from beeswax, as early as 3000 BC.

The early candle was made from various forms of natural fat, tallow, and wax.  In the 18th century, spermaseti oil produced by the sperm whale was used to produce a superior candle. 

Late in the 18th century, colza oil and rapeseed oil came into use as much cheaper substitutes.  Paraffin was first distilled in 1830, and revolutionized candle-making, as it was an inexpensive material which produced a high-quality, odorless candle that burned reasonably cleanly.

The industry was devastated soon after, however, by the distillation of kerosene (confusingly also called paraffin oil or just paraffin). This excellent fuel for lamps gave the candle its current status as a primarily decorative item.

Recently resin based candles that are freestanding and transparent have been developed, with the claim that they burn longer than traditional paraffin candles.

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 Candles are sometimes burnt in churches and cathedrals as a sign of remembrance.

Small donations, such as those in Helsinki Cathedral, often go towards missionary work or other charities.

In Christianity the candle is commonly used in worship both for decoration and ambiance, and as symbols that represent the light of God or, specifically, the light of Christ.

The candle is often placed on the altar. A Votive Candle may be lit as an accompaniment to prayer. The candle is lit by worshippers in front of icons in Orthodox and other churches.

In some churches, a special candle known as the Paschal candle, specifically represents Christ and is lit only at Easter, funerals, and baptisms.

In some Christian denominations, the day of Candlemas marks the end of the season of Epiphany. On this day, the presiding priest blesses the candle to be used in worship for the following year.

The Candle was traditionally used to light up Christmas trees before the advent of electric lights. They are still commonly used to decorate Christmas trees in Denmark and other European countries. They are also used in Advent wreaths.

In Sweden (and other Scandinavian countries), St. Lucia Day is celebrated on December 13 with the crowning of a young girl with a candle ring.

Have you ever wondered what to do with your votive candle?  Where to place it?  How to make a stunning center piece using only votive candles?  Would a grouping of votive candles be attractive?  I believe so.   

In order to get the most out of a votive candle grouping, consider these locations:

• Dining room tables. You could replace the plain old tapers with small groupings of votive candles in cut glass holders at either end of where the main dish will sit on the table. A group of three to four votive candles work perfectly and add a bit more sparkle and pizzazz to a table.  Creating a nest for your votive candles within a floral arrangement adds a lot of sparkle to your table.  Placing ribbons around the votive candle holder should be done with caution.  You would not want the ribbon to get so hot that it  would catch on fire. 
• Bathrooms.  This might be one of the most stunning locations to place votive candle groupings.  Do you have an item on the counter that is very attractive, like a glass ball with a small village inside?  By placing several votive candles in crystal candle holders on either side, makes a stunning presentation.  This is so simple because guests do not expect a bit of extra jazz in this particular room of rooms.  Scented votive candles can alter the entire atmosphere of a bathroom  and make the area more pleasant.
• Living rooms.   Votive candle groupings sitting on your coffee table and end tables add that extra something to your room.  Sets of three votive candles or more can look very stunning. When special holders are used, the overall safety of using these lower tables for votive candle groupings is also increased.  Should you have small children or pets in the general area, keep them unlit while the children are awake.  Later in the evening after the children are in bed, light those special candles, cast that beautiful candle glow and if scented, the fragrance will permeate the room with that extra something.  Sit down with your favorite person, sip a cup  of coffee and relax.
• Walls.    When wall sconces with votive candles are used, the results on an overall room’s ambiance can be amazing.  Using crystal votive holders, which fit into your decor, will add that extra sparkle when the votive candles are lit.  Lighting these votive candles inside a crystal votive holder casts sparkling light on the walls, ambience is added to each room, and makes everyone feel extra special who has been invited into your home.

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