Mom has been a Christian for so many years I lose count and she talks with God daily. She has been our family prayer warrior for she prays daily for her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren. Oh yes, Mom is 94 years young.

Mom became ill with pneumonia on Dec. 19, 2007. While in the hospital, she got MRSA. After many days on antibiotics, her desire to eat became less and less for her food just didn’t taste good. She began to lose some weight.

On New Year’s Eve Mom was sent to Heartland to begin her step down program. She was exercised daily in order for her to gain strength to live on her own once again. After one week she suffered a heart attack and was sent back to the hospital to begin another journey.

Mom was so bad that we thought she was going to die and so did her doctors. This time was we knew it was different. She was sent there to die. Her chart read DO NOT RESUSITATE, COMFORT CARE ONLY. Mom’s heart was working at 30% and her kidneys were functioning at 15%. Everything seemed to be shutting down.

After much discussion with the social services director at Heartland, we asked what it would take to continue Mom on Medicare - EXERCISE was her answer. How does someone who is dying exercise? Mom was started on her exercise program that day and the nurses helped her move her arms up and over her chest. She repeated it twice. This wore her out.

Although Mom slept many hours of the day, she began the road of recovery. The nurses helped her in and out of bed, onto the portable pot, back into bed. More exercising was encouraged. When she began to complain we knew Mom we getting better - slowly but surely.

Dawn, her daughter, had hip replacement surgery a few weeks ago. For her recovery time, she spent it at Heartland two doors down from Mom. Dawn and Mom ate lunch and dinner together; were able to exercise about the same time; and Mom began to move around on her own for she wanted to check on her daughter. She was using a walking wheelchair. She was able to use her legs and make that wheelchair go where she wanted it to go.

Mom has become spoiled. The nurses had washed her up since Dec. 19, 2007. What a surprise when she was given a basin of warm water and told to wash herself. She got angry. What did they mean, wash up on your own. She’s getting better. She’s complaining.

About five weeks ago, Mom was able to walk with her walker (a nurse by her side) from her room to the exercise room and back. Mom’s arms and legs are back to normal. Her weight has dropped down to 118# - a 30# loss. Mom states she feels better with less weight. Her appetite has returned. She is eating the food prepared by Heartland. Of course, she still makes multiple requests of her family.

An example: She has used Pepsodent toothpaste for many years. When she had sent Dawn to buy her a tube of Pepsodent Toothpaste, she found out it wasn’t sold anymore. She complained so much to anyone who would listen that I went on the internet and found her Pepsodent toothpaste and ordered 6 huge tubes of toothpaste. That should last her for awhile.

This past Friday Mom walked from her room to the exercise room; exercised 30 minutes; walked on down the hall about 50 feet and walked all the way back to her room using her walker. At this point in time, we do not know whether her heart has repaired itself to be at a higher percentage of usage but we do know her kidneys have repaired themselves.

Yesterday, Sunday March 30th 2008, all of her immediate family helped Mom celebrate her 95th birthday. As many of her grandchildren were present and several of her great grandchildren came to share in the excitement of Grandma’s birthday. The expression on Mom’s face was worth it all. Her eyes were filled with tears as she took in each and every individual. She just held out her arms for each person and when one hesitated, she called them by name. Come, give me a hug.

Each family had their picture taken with Mom. We invited several of her “old” friends and they spent an hour chitchatting as we women do.

This is a miracle in the making. Mom had stated in January that God had forgotten her for she was praying to die. God had NOT forsaken Mom. He knew what was best and He will take her home in His time, not hers.

What a joy! God cares so much for all of us. Some of us are taken immediately, others still have work to do and He doesn’t care what we look like, how old we are, how frail or anything like what we humans look at, He looks at our heart; He alone picks the time for us to come home. He still has much for Mom to do. She had another great great grandchild come into this world last week and she was able to hold and cuddle this baby this past Saturday. She has another child to pray for.

Respectfully submitted,
Tobey Anne Craft

I had left a long tribute to my mother in law on this website awhile ago. Wanted to update you on her “recovery”.

I am so thankful to have Mom as my mother in law. She is a strong willed, spiritual, stubborn woman. Because of her having pneumonia starting Dec. 19, 2007, coming down with MRSA at the hospital, fighting both diseases at the same time caused her to not be hungry. Thus she began a downward spiral. When she was well enough to go to a step down program, she was there a week and had a heart attack.

Back to the hospital for 10 days and to the step down program once again. This time with DO NOT RESUCITATE, COMFORT CARE ONLY. Whew. That was scary.

We kids talked and decided that the doctors were wrong. If Mom could take some exercise then she should be given it. Her exercise program began with little steps - swinging of her arms, lifting of her legs - and this exercise wore her out big time.

The second week at the step down program, she was so bad physically that we slept with the cell phones on our bedhead thinking there would be a call during the night. PTL there wasn’t one.

On February 21, 2008, I was glad to report that Mom had eaten her first protein in over 9 weeks. She ate 3 good bites of chicken - chewed them up and swallowed them. She ate the first salad two days ago. She has taken 7 steps (helped by a nurse) from her wheel chair to the door and couldn’t make it back. But she did take 7 steps.   Our bodies need protein in order to create new cells, including those in our brain.  Mom’s protein level was extremely low.  So it is exciting that she is now eating some protein.

On our last two visits Mom asked where the cards were. It took me a moment to find a deck of cards. We played a game euchre and one game of pinochle. Today my husband is there with his Mom and they are playing gin rummy. Her mind isn’t as strong as it was and she wants to play cards in order to strengthen it.

I would not have believed this miracle if I didn’t see it with my own eyes. When she was sent to the step down program at Heartland, the doctor sent her there to die. She is living proof that God is still in charge of our lives.

Thanks for your prayers.

Respectfully,
Tobey Anne Craft

 Yesterday I had the opportunity of having lunch at a diner located on Route 23 N.   It was raining and cold outside. We rushed into the diner and looked for a seat. The place was full except for this one booth. My husband and I were seated behind a grissly looking man with matted hair.  I didn’t look closely at him, just in passing.

My husband and I ordered our food, ate it, sat there talking and then I began to really take notice of the man sitting in front of me. Suddenly I realized that he was either a homeless man or a very unclean man. As he scratched his head, I wondered if he had lice and had any of them jumped onto my husband.

Sitting there I began to see him through different eyes. I began to wonder what happened in his life that caused him to become homeless. Was it drink, drugs, out of work, fired from a good job, did he lose his home - all of these thoughts and more were going through my mind.

As my husband was standing in line to pay for our bill, the thought went through my mind that I should offer to pay for his bill in case he didn’t have enough money to pay for it.

I signalled for the waitress to meet me at the counter. I leaned over and quietly asked her if this man had enough money to pay for his lunch. Her reply, “You don’t need to pay for it. You see our manager allows him to come in and have one good meal a week. Thank you for your kindness.  We probably should make him leave for he has been here for quite awhile.”   As we talked about how chilly and damp it was outside, one of the waitresses  went over and refilled his cup of coffee.  He knew I was talking about him for he looked over at me and his eyes were filled with sadness, weariness and kindness.

I sat at the counter and began to be thankful for all that we have and for my husband being able to retire on a good income. We have so much to be thankful for and this man has nothing except the kindness of strangers. 

Perhaps one day he will return to his rightful place in society, working, living in a home, perhaps get married and have children, but for right now he was in the right place at the right time for he helped me change my way of thinking by just being there.  

How I chose to look at another human being is up to me: I can look with disgust or look with compassion.

 Tobey Anne Craft

http://www.tobeyscandles.com

Planning a funeral is never easy, especially when someone you love dies.  Planning a funeral while the individual is still alive is another thing.   My suggestion would be to plan their funeral while they are still alive so they can answer some of your questions, help decide what they would like to have, etc.

Let me explain.  Mom Craft is still living, 94 yrs young, heart: 30%;  kidneys: 13-15%; body fat: very low protein level which is way below level; very sharp minded; great spirit; poor body.

 Dawn, my husband and I had talked with Mom about funeral arrangements while she was still very healthy, living on her own and giving us instructions for what she would like to have when she died.  We were advised this week that we should think about planning her funeral and getting it paid for prior to her needing Medicaid to live out the rest of her life.  Thus began a journey of love.

Using these instructions as our guide, we planned her funeral yesterday.  We went to the “FAMILY” funeral home (family because The Craft, the Lowery, Cooperider, Wixtead, and Gorenflo have used the same funeral home for the past 30 years), sat down and began a long, frightning journey through books, etc. to find the right casket for Mom.

 What a journey!   After pouring over 2 books of caskets, we finally agreed upon one that we felt “looked” like Mom.  She is such a sweet woman, kind, generous, loving, tender hearted that her casket had to the “right” one.

Afterwards we started figuring out the funeral service.  They gave us two options - both terribly expensive.  Adding all the costs together, I saw the funeral director add another figure to the bottom with nothing written beside it.  I asked him what that amount was for. His reply, “taxes”.   Yep, the state gets their portion of burial.

After all the paperwork was filled out with our requests, copies made for each of us, it became time for Larry to write the check.  I noticed his hands were shaking.  It was so hard for him to finish this journey with this writing of a check. 

Prayerfully we won’t need to exercise these arrangements for quite awhile.  Each of us sees Mom in so much pain that we would like to have it over for her.  Only she knows when it is time and God will help her through it.

In the meantime, we are there for her.  Simply put, we love her.  Her dreams, goals and blessings goes out to all of her family.  She has always been our prayer warrior and now it is our turn to take up the prayer warrior title and pray for each member of our family.  Many of our family has been saved because of her prayers.

Tobey Anne Craft

http://www.tobeyscandles.com

(more…)

I apologize for not writing more about Mom in the last few days.  It has been a roller coaster of emotions, dreams, goals, watching and waiting to see if Mom will get better or worse.

For three days Mom showed signs of getting better.  By that I mean she was dressed, sitting up in a wheelchair, reaching for a glass of water and making it to her mouth, eating a few more bites of food than before, stating she would rather do it herself, watching her soap operas (she has not watched any TV in the past 6 weeks), desiring for us to push her around the facility in her wheelchair.

All-in-all, she exhibited signs of getting better.

Yesterday was different.  You would have to know Mom to know how independent, private and understanding a person she truly is.  Dawn, my sister-in-law, was watching television with Mom (for it was Mom’s soap opera time) when she looked over and Mom’s head was resting on the little table in front of her.  Dawn asked her if she was okay and Mom’s response went something like this, “you don’t even want to know how I feel.”

Her granddaughter, Beth and her hubby, Darin, brought their two children (Sidney and Colin) up to see Grandma.  Grandma just beamed at seeing the great grandchildren.  Since she is nearly deaf, she couldn’t understand all that was being said, however, those grandbabies made a difference in her attitude.  Sidney (girl) named after her Grandpa (Mom’s hubby) is such a blessing to Grandma.  We know that Mom loves all of her grandbabies, great grandbabies and great, great grandbabies.  There is just one child that strikes your fancy a little more than the others and for Mom, that is Sidney.

Later that evening, Dawn saw that Mom was getting tired and asked Mom if she would like to take off her housecoat and get ready for bed.  The nurse, who was helping Mom, stated Mom had nothing on underneath her housecoast.  (That is NOT Mom.) 

So we have our up days and our down days.  How much longer before Mom goes home to Jesus?  No one knows but God.

We are thanking Him for each day of her life and for all of the blessings she has brought into ours.

Tobey Anne Craft

tcraft@tobeyscandles.com

 On Thursday, January 24, 2008 we (Larry and Tobey) were spending the afternoon and early evening with Mom at Heartland.  She was in such good spirits, laughed a little, complained a little, wouldn’t tell us when she was hurting even though we could tell that her shoulder was causing her great pain (still heart related), ate some food, drank a little chicken broth and talked for several hours. 

Mom has such a sharp mind, a great spirit and a weakened body.  Mom didn’t want to sleep while we were there from 12:30 p.m. to 7 p.m.  She dozed off for about ½ hr and then apologized for it.As we were kissing her goodbye, I told her we would return in two days.  Without batting an eye, Mom said, “just like a bad penny.”  We had a good laugh together.

On Saturday, January 26^th, Dawn, Larry and I went to Mom’s apartment at PrimRose and began the tedious task of clearing out her apartment.  It  was strenuous and sad to say the least.  When we broke up her home and sold it (because she was not able to stay alone anymore and she wanted a small apartment in an assisted living place), we knew that she was going to another place to live.  Today we knew that this time she wasn’t coming back to her apartment or to our homes.  Both of us live in mobile homes and have health issues, to take Mom, who needs skilled nursing, wouldn’t be in the  best interest of her or us. 

Throughout the afternoon, she talked about family, hers and dad’s, from the older times, explaining which cousins go with which family, etc.

Sometime late Saturday afternoon, Mom turned to Larry and told him that it sure was awful getting old, not being able to get out of bed and being in such pain.  Larry said that we all will be her age someday.  Mom told him that no one should have to suffer like she was doing.  She made the statement that she hoped she was going home to Jesus for she had not been able to read her Bible lately. Larry replied that Jesus understood.  He knew what was going on with her body and He understood.  He shared that we all knew she had accepted Jesus Christ as her Personal Lord and Savior and that Jesus was waiting on her to come home.  He told Mom that Dad was standing beside Jesus waiting on her.  Her reply, “well, I bet he tells me what took you so long.”  We had to laugh at her humor for she was grinning ear to ear.As we were kissing her goodbye, she reached out her hand and held ours.  As Larry and I stood at the bottom of the bed, she looked at us with such love in her eyes and said, “I love you both very much.Respectfully submitted,

Tobey Anne Crafthttp://www.tobeyscandles.com

The love of a mother helps us to grow.   A love of a mother for her child is fantastic.  I am a mother of 4 children, a mother in law to 4 children and a grandmother of 8.   When we were first married, I thought I couldn’t love someone as much as I loved my husband.  A few months of marriage and I thought perhaps I was pregnant.  Unfortunately that pregnancy didn’t last very long.  About a year later I realized I was pregnant again. 

When our daughter, Tina, was born, I was so enthralled at her tiny fingers and toes, that this bundle of joy came from me and that my love knew no bounds.  It just expanded.

As each of our children came along, Tod, Lisa and Lee, my loved kept expanding. 

As my mother in law, Flavilla, lies in her bed at Heartland waiting to go home, I know that the feelings I had when each of my children were born were similar to what she experienced for each of her children’s births.

She is one fantastic mother in law.  Yes, at times she interfered with some advice that I didn’t appreciate.  Yes, at times I ruffled her feathers too.  A strong bond grew between both of us.  She has been my mother in law for over 46 years and simply put, I love her.

It will be hard this weekend as her daughter (Dawn)  and my husband (Larry) begin the tearing down of their mother’s apartment.  Taking apart her home, having a garage sale and selling her home was hard but we knew that Mom had a good place to live in her apartment at the assisted living home.  Tomorrow will be different.  As each item is taken from that apartment, we are saying good bye to her coming home once again.

Dawn is keeping her mother’s clothes just in case she can get well enough to come home.  With Mom’s kidneys at 13% function, her heart at 30% function, the swelling of her arms so bad that they leak fluid, fluid around her heart and lungs, there isn’t much time left

My one goal is to make Mom’s last days as happy as they can be, whether that means we sit in her room helping her to drink a small amount of fluid, cleaning her dentures (which I hate but do anyways because of my love for her), reading to her, listening to her labored breathing, talking with the nurses, sharing our family stories with her, and in general, making each moment easier for her.

 Sometimes we feel that she knows that she is dying; at other times, she acts like she will be getting better.  Mom is strong willed, very sharp mentally, a great spirit (for she trusts and believes in Jesus Christ) but her body is weak.

 Mom, my salute to you is thank you for each day of your life that you have shared your beliefs, love, compassion, understanding, gentleness, kindness and attention to each of us.  You are always in our thoughts.

We love you.

Tobey Anne Craft

http://www.tobeyscandles.com

Today was a blessing.  My hubby and I had to go to Mom’s assisted living home and talk with the head nurse regarding the return of her medication, what was expected of us as she passed, did we need to pay for the next month, etc. 

We were asked what about Martha, her best friend, would we want to break the news to her about Mom.  Martha was eating lunch and we did not want to intrude on her lunch time.  We did share that it would mean so much to Mom if Martha could visit her today.

The head nurse left us and went immediately to talk with Martha.  We didn’t tell Mom that she might come out for we were not sure if someone could bring her.  About 2 p.m. down the hall came this sprightly 91 year old woman walking at this fast pace with her 3 legged cane holding onto her daughter’s arm.  She didn’t stop until she reached us.

What a joy to see Martha.  Martha waited until Mom was back in bed and then she entered the room.

The joy that flooded Mom’s face told it all.  We left the girls to do their girl talk; after 45 minutes we went back and they were still yakking so we gave them another 15 minutes. 

When Martha walked out the room, she grabbed my hand and literally pushed me into the hall.  Since Martha is 95% blind, I thought she thought I was her daughter but Martha may be blind but she is smart.  She wanted to tell me that she would come back if Mom was still around on Monday if that was okay. 

Mom slept a peaceful sleep this afternoon.  By evening she was back in pain.

Oh the joy of a friend!

Good morning.  My prayer request is for my mother in law (94) who is in the hospital dying.  Her kidneys are 13%, her heart is 30%, fluid building throughout her body, has shoulder pain indicating heart (heart attack about 12 days ago), pneumonia and got MRSA in the hospital.

Sounds like a lost cause, doesn’t it?  Mom is a woman of faith.  She has spent her entire life praying for her family, her church and for others.

She wants to go home to Jesus.  I told her it was okay.

However, I don’t believe it is the right time; only God’s timing will do.  Even though my sister in law and my hubby would like to see the suffering end for their mother (and so would I), she still clings to life with a sharp mind, a willing spirit and a weakened body.

Please pray for our Heavenly Father to heal her of her pain.  She has to exercise some while in the skilled nursing or Medicare won’t pay for her to be there and we have no other place to take her.  Each day those special nurses have her move her arms across her chest, sit on the edge of the bed and get into a wheelchair for about 10 minutes.  This is considered exercise.  She is in constant pain.  Her kidneys ache so much.

God still good.  He is still willing to heal us even when all seems lost.

Give up on a strong 94 year old woman because of the illness and her age?  Never.  God has not given up on her.  She still has much to teach us until she draws her last breath.

So please join me in prayer and support for this wonderful mother in law of mine who is still teaching her children, daughter in law, grandchildren and others to live life to the fullest until she draws her last breath.

Celebrate the older people in your life.  They do have much wisdom, love, compassion and teaching us to have more faith through their daily lives for they trust in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.  What a blessing!

Tobey Craft

I want to apologize to all of you for not getting back for the past 5 weeks.  My mother in law, Flavilla Craft, has become extremely ill.  She became ill a week or so before Christmas with pneumonia; got MRSA at the hospital; didn’t like the hospital food and refused to eat. After she got better she went to a step down program at Heartland in Marion, OH.

 Mom had a heart attack a week later and has been back in the hospital for over 10 days.  Marion, OH is about 1 hr and 15 minutes from our home.  We have traveled back and forth for over 20 days.

 Mom is slowly dying.  Her kidneys are 13% and her heart is about 30%; filling up with fluid; not hungry because her mouth feels like it has cotton in it and the food sticks in her throat, etc.

We could use all of your prayers at this time.  Even though Mom is 94 years young, only God will decide when to take Mom home with Him.  How do I know for sure she is going home to God?  She accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Saviour.

 Thanks for your prayers and listening.

 Tobey Anne Craft

http://www.tobeyscandles.com